catching up..

I haven't been writing here in a while..
the more I wait, the more difficult it is to return!
where I suppose to start?? I wonder..
so much happened in this recent two months..beyond the linear time..
that it seems as a very limiting thing, to attempt to express it in words.
However it is my intention to master also this ways of expression,
to return to the state where I am one with the writer within,
writing in trust and surrender, liberating the light of the voice of my soul.
I am very curious where this would lead me;)
Switching into a new language makes it for me a little more tricky and challenging
I feel again like a little child, learning the new vocabulary..
however the most I love to go beyond any language known, and finding my own..
I am evolving into a multidimensional being, going beyond linear ways, raising my frequency, becoming a pure channel for divine energy, awakening my light body, breathing deeeply..still doing a lot of healing and purification..
I was thinking before that healing is a process never ending..
however now I dare to dream about a state where I am completely healed!
..and I travel often to my inner temple, my sacred sanctuary,
and I nourish my body with the cosmic energy..and I travel into the deep space within
It is a mind blowing concept to me that every atom of my body is the door to an inner universe..
I am learning how to dream more consciously, how to use more fully hidden here potentials
and my dream visions are expanding my awareness, with their beauty, depth and magnificence.
One day I had this dream, that I look into the sky..
and there in the clouds I am observing triangles moving very fast in a different configurations
I watch it with an amazement.
Then I see on the horizon a big nuclear explosion,
black cloud is rising up and expanding in every direction, absorbing everything on its way
I am standing and I know that I not have a chance to run away from this powerful force
I see that an unknown woman is standing with me on my side
and I remember very well the moment when we both open our arms to the explosion in surrender
we close our eyes, and we are absorbed..
after a little while we open them, and we realize that we are still alive, and still standing there.
Few days later Universe orchestrated my meeting with the two very powerful women, that I met for the first time,
In the middle of magical Sonoran Desert I had to surrender, when my ego was dissolving with the power of the explosion,
to break down into a spirit molecule..
I am rediscovering deeper my fire in my free flow dance, and my voice, which through most of my life was deeply suppressed..
I want to nurture and expand it..
I think about teaching myself how to play a piano to balance better my hemispheres..we have a piano on our stage, so I should make use of it! The same when it comes to a great sound in our building..I started to mess already some with microphones=)
When I was very little, besides drawing, my other the most favorite things to do it was singing and creating the songs in the Now, and recording it on an old tape recorder of my grandfather. So it is for me like a return to another passion and love from my childhood;)
The situation with our place transformed so much in these months.. I was mentioning before about our building that went for public auction..and about this rich guy that decided to buy it against our will..
So I was wondering before about the perfect divine order in the whole situation, and this seemingly "bad" thing transformed already into something previously unimaginable! Because he bought almost all other buildings around us, and because of the hard economic situation in this country, what created difficulties with renting them out, and created some desperation..and because of the higher vision of my partner about creating an art block.. at first we expanded about building on the left side from us..and now two others on the right! So now we are having not one but four buildings!
Building on the left is already going. There is over 20 different artist studios, and in the biggest space right now is being created a "Temple of Eden" by a very interesting people that are running also Epic Eden Hot Springs Retreats.
At the time of the Gem Show there will be lots of interesting things going on..an art show with global visionary art, lectures, workshops, classes, screenings, etc.. a lot of Goddess energy!
On the right side from us there will be some more of the art studios, and we have this vision of creating an art school!
..the hall of excellence;)..where you can learn and master skills, and liberate your creative fire.
The building next to that is rented by another guy..together with his wife he will create there an art gallery, and a jazz school for kids. In the next building that we are also renting we are planning to create a big dance and yoga space.
The tricky part now is to pass through all the rules of the city people, and fixing spaces according to them..
It would be nice if the city in general would be more interested in supporting the cause of creating an art community, at least through being more flexible with the laws..
We've found recently also fantastic new places in nature, the new power spots, enchanted and magical lands
Even returning to the old ones is never the same..
My relationship and communication with the Great Goddess deepens..and I hear her call for me to step up in many ways..
The true meaning of Solar Culture is not really from the sun..it is about an old Atlantean practice of bringing the light into a pineal gland. It is interesting that coming here I am passing through its activation;) I opened myself more into the assistance from the Universe in my process of healing, and the assistance came so incredibly quickly! It is temporary staying here one very interesting man from England, with the roots from India..he was a doctor, but he quit his career for a spiritual calling. He is offering his healing work, working with the elements and using stones..I got a serious blast of energy into my pineal through the star Polaris. I felt like my head is on fire! I was very surprised how much pain my body was still holding..and he was assisting with the release and freeing the flow..
I am deciding to be back to being here active more often..every day sharing with something..if not with the word, then with a picture or a sound..and my whole website needs a serious update and rewriting my stories with the new awareness!! I need to catch up with so many things..
It is very exciting to step into this new year, it starts very intensely, and I can feel it will be very transformative beyond imagination, and there is so much to transform, and to create..the vision is GRAND!



Returning from the journey, where we were visiting the very ancient sites of Northern Arizona and Southern Utah, I feel like reborn, rejuvenated by the Great Mother Nature, and deeply inspired by her magnificent creations.
It feels like the beginning of the new stage in my reality, when I am more ready and mature to take some necessary shifts.
I did learn a lot during this time. With some situations I was pushing myself beyond my limits and fears.
I also explored deeper the archetypes I live by from the new perspectives, so I can see now more clearly different roles I play.
It was for us the time of breaking old patterns, and coming back to the natural rhythms. Almost every day we were waking up at the dawn, to greet the sunrise. Together with my partner we were making a good use from the light when the sun rises and sets, and we were doing really a lot of nature photography. We were gifted with some of an amazing sights.
At one sunrise when we were driving through the Monument Valley, the herd of the wild horses did ran across the street, in front of our van! In another days we had meetings with two wolves, lots of deer, ravens and hawks, and even the pronghorn antelope. Some of the creatures I saw I still try to identify! Four different species that I saw for the first time in the wildlife.
Still I have to embrace deeper the messages and teachings..

In this month had been released two new phenomenal and truly masterful albums by Igneous Flame with my artwork.

I feel like it is unspeakable..trying to describe how powerful they are, but surely I am going to work a lot with this music and create lots of new art in surrender!!
Orcus is darker, and it explores plutonian energy, that we all need to face and embrace.
Ion is a great tool for the rising of frequencies, shifting, transmutation, uniting with the higher self, and exploring your divine infinite potentials. Actually both are good for all that!
I really feel like I barely started to explore this great depths, but already once again I am blown away by Pete's new developments!
It is possible to listen to the previews on the Soundcloud:
ION by Igneous Flame
Orcus by Igneous Flame
I am very excited to attend at this weekend SoundQuest Fest organized by Steve Roach - an international gathering of sonic innovators & ambient architects.
It feels like a gathering of the ancient family!



I am asking myself how to transcend the grasping and wanting nature
how to open up to the experience of the fulness of my true being
to the infinite creative potentials that dwell within
so I can create in freedom for benefit of all beings.

The impulse of my intuition leads my hand to open one from many books
there are hidden my notes from long time before, where I read my answer:

"In order to be All, do not desire to be anything.
In order to know All, do not desire to know anything.
In order to find the joy of All, do not desire to enjoy anything.

To be, to know, to find joy -> sat, cit, ananda = being, consciousness, joy.

Set thy heart upon thy work, but never on its reward.
Work not for a reward, but never cease to do thy work.
Do thy work in the peace of Yoga and,
free from selfish desires,
be not moved in success or in failure.

In this wisdom a man goes beyond what is well done and what is not well done.
Go thou therefore to wisdom: Yoga is wisdom in work."



I didn't expected before that a little kitten can be such a great teacher for me, and especially wild one! With time we realized deeper that she is probably feral. At the beginning we kept her in our bathroom, and before we did that we didn't realized that there is a hole in the wall that is unpatched. She made there her hiding secure base, where she was running away every time anyone gets there, or when I am bringing her some food. Every day I was spending there time meditating, hoping that I will be able to tune better into her spirit, and that through my own opening of my heart, she will stop fear me, and will come up close. I reached very deep meditative states while I was doing it, and I felt gratitude for this little creature for being my great meditation master, teaching me so much through the whole situation, and pushing beyond the boundaries. In one day we stared at each other by a very long time, I was sending her my love. I also started chanting for her and playing crystal bowl, she seemed to be very curious about these sounds, and she kept observing me.
But still she kept hissing at me every day I would come, she was like a little demon!
One day my partner wanted to clean around the hole, so she is not hiding behind the stuff on the way. She went deeper into the opening, and she climbed the wall inside up. She got stuck in between walls by over 24 hours and she kept crying! I spend a great deal of time sitting in the bathroom and playing crystal bowl, and crying too. The sound of the bowl stirred deeply old emotions within me, and I had some good time of releasing and healing the child within, that was scared before exactly like this kitten. I was trying to bring her back with the sound, so she can follow and find the way. My partner did cut two big holes in our bathroom on the other side, trying to save her. With no results. We went to sleep and at night she found her way back, through her own entryway. She was even more traumatized by this event, so we decided to not bother her too much in the following few days, and let her to recover.
My partner did build for her a big cage with the whole playground, to keep her temporary in my studio, until she gets used to people. After also very traumatic for her transfer into my space, she was slowly getting more relaxed again, but still hissing at people, playing very wildly when everyone is gone, and hiding in her new spot. In this days I came across material by Hemi-Sync, Communicating with Animals Meditation, and I was trying to connect to her. She didn't seem to be too much interested in contact with people, and she would prefer starve to death than to eat from my hand. Almost three weeks passed and we started to think that maybe she is already impossible to tame. In one day we were thinking that this isn't the best scenario for our building, as we have always many people around, and our older cat that is very territorial. We have here also very loud concerts, and car traffic on one side, and trains are passing very close on the other. I thought that maybe I should try to find for her a better home, and someone who is more experienced with feral kittens. I created post on craigslist, and I went back to creating to the same space where her cage is. She was looking at me, and I felt like I received a great gift from her, when she starts to play around, even if I am the same room..and in one moment she was reaching with her little paw in my direction. In this moment I got again committed to work with her and being more patient.
I did understand very well that in this whole situation there is a great opportunity to grow for me, and that everything is also very symbolic. From many years working on my healing I am all the time taming my own demons, I should be able to tame a little kitten! But then I received this message from an elder very loving lady, responding to my post..She have an experience with feral kittens, and she is training them.. She lives with her husband on 5 acres big ranch, together with 1 horse, 3 goats, some friendly dogs, and other rescued cats. She promised to give a good veterinary care. She will can live inside and hang out outside in nature.
After reading it I found myself crying again. I did know that she will have there a better life than here, in the middle of the city. My higher vision was different but I decided to let it go. This was a great learning experience in itself! I am very happy for this kitten that finally will have a good life, and I am in a deep gratitude for all that it taught me..
Our older cat is back to a good moods, and it gifts me with her love..
In the same moment I wrote this she walks into my studio, and is trying to communicate with me;)..I have a talking cat with a french accent!!


path to freedom

I haven't been writing in a while..the journey is unfolding in interesting ways..
I was traveling a lot within my depths, and the spirit of the whale started visiting me more frequently...through my dreams, and guiding me during my meditations. In the same time I am working with my deeper relationship with water, and over my fears.
I am learning how to swim better, how to dive, how to catch a wave and have a ride.. The water it is the element that transforms me greatly now.. I think that I am quite brave when it comes to diving within, into the unknown of my subconscious, but in this reality I often find old wounds that caused me to create limiting beliefs..
As I dive deeper, the more it is revealed, and I try to figure out how to free my soul, how to heal more fully, so I can fly freely..fly freely whatever I am doing, being more present in the Now.. My past it is the heaviness on my back, and I still work how to release it..how to let it go..I know I already died for it, and I'm in another realms, but the fears are still there, and I'm facing them in my dreams
The quest isn't simple, and tasting my True Self I am like a hungry seeker, seeking every day, and learning, and expanding my awareness..
but then I know that I have to stop, and to forget, to let it go as well..and I'm going back to Nature, and I experience once again what it means Silence, and I'm back into the Heaven on Earth, and I'm full and complete in the stillness of the mind, when the waters are calm..
Soon I have to go back into the city's heart, as I am on the secret quest, a mission, that for sure only very little I understand with my conscious mind, but I sense it all quite deeply intuitively..
A lot of healing is done when in this recent weeks I am traveling between East and West Coast, facing different parts of myself.
I am overflowing with a lot of new inspirations, after returning to Metropolitan Art Musem in New York, and an Art Museum in San Diego, also visiting great botanical gardens.
I am channeling less or more consciously from many years, in many different ways, but in this weeks I came to deeper understanding about my boundaries, and I've got a lot of new insights in this direction.
My relationship with the Great Goddess deepens, I am devoting my life to Her, and my awareness grows in many fields.
I am guided to face again deeper the influences of the Pluto in the fourth house on my life, and with the most beautiful and angelic music I plant the seeds for the future.
Some days ago I had a dream that I am meeting this big wild cat..at first I feel fear, but then I face the beast, and I open my heart, reaching forward with my hand, so it can smell me. Few days after, we were rescuing the lost wild siamese very little kitten! It got lost or abandoned, and it is really a miracle that it survived in the middle of the city, and with this heat, in the middle of the summer! Our temple has a new guardian..but for now nobody can get close to it..we have to be patient..
Kitten is so deeply scared by people..It reminds me sort of about my old traumas, and I can feel that it will be my great new teacher=) Being during the last couple of days in Nature taught me a lot about encountering the beast. I've met with rattle snake on my path, and it rattled on me, and I looked into the eyes of the wild havalina! I was also blessed with the sights of big horn sheep that appeared three times..some of them had a really huge horns! When I was doing yoga and meditation, a lot of vultures were circling over me, and higher above them, there was a majestic huge hawk or an eagle! I cannot tell for sure what it was..but lying down on the earth I was tapping into its spirit, and it was very powerful and blissful experience.. and I was there, flying high;)..
I shared recently for the first time with recording of my creative session:

This is the way I create in trance states, when I channel divine energies..
My favorite way is to surrender to the sound..in this case it is music of Steve Hillage from album Rainbow Dome Musick..
I follow the sound and my intuition, learning all the time how to trust deeper, and how to flow freely..
Drawing in these states I am often forced to work very fast, tapping into higher frequencies and drawing from them power...making millions of very subtle, almost invisible touches..
It is not so much about doing..this is the dance and I work here with energies.
I am experiencing the sound, letting for it to flow through my body, becoming one with it..this is an excellent tool for traveling within..
I connect with my higher self and my guides, and they speak to me..
I connect with the invisible worlds, and every spirit that I meet has something to teach me, transmitting information, on the waves of sound..
This is the way I meditate.
This is the way I heal myself
..I seek the ways to know my full creative potentials!


listening inward

I awakened today again
to seeing through my ancient eyes
the eye of Horus has been engraved very deeply in my soul
magickal sign
bringing me remembrance of who I really am

It is the time Now
like a plant
from the seed
to break through a hard shell of the earth
and to awaken fully into divine infinite potentials of creation

It is the time now
to tune again to the higher vibrations
frequency of love
sacred sound
to our divine guidance
that is ever present


Prajna Earth

I just watched very beautiful documentary movie - Prajna Earth..
I got some new insights and understanding about my experience, what happened to me after deeper connecting with Mother Nature, and when I came in contact with Nature Spirits..
and again returns to me the motive of ritual painting of the faces..next reminder from many in this week, about the need of return to doing it more often again;)!!
many years ago, what feels more like an eternity, they taught me about this and many other things..I reflect now on my old sessions that I used to do with the sound..
When I was a child, I was really into God. I was trying to find it in the temples of the religions of my family. But my family was divided, exactly by their different religions!..and they all wanted to take me on their side.."that is better, than the other one"..
Being baptized in an orthodox religion, I felt like a total freak, when I went to the school, and I moved to the place with a lot of catholic children. I wanted to be the same like them, I wanted to belong..
I went to the church in the age of 5 or 6, and I changed my religion through kneeling in front of a priest and reading a prayer from some piece of paper! In the age of 6 I was really experiencing the culmination of my fascination in religion.
I was using my lego blocks for building crosses, I was going to church more than once a week, planning to become a nun.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night, and I saw the vision on the ceiling over my bed, of the figures of Mary and Jesus looking at me! They were made of light.
But then I learned some history!! What catholic church did over the time for other religions..how everything became terribly distorted...even Jesus and Mary! After realizing this I went temporary to a real extremes in my rebellion;)..and I kept wondering..how it is possibly to study a history, and to go to the church at the same time..
When I connected deeper with Mother Nature I found God. Photography was a great tool. I was back then just barely beginning my healing process, and I experienced a great shift through going to the old forests..The Great Mother embraced me with her infinite love.. With time I was able to unite with her, she opened me to the vision, and the Nature Spirits were often gifting me with messages. Soon I wasn't afraid to go to the forests on my solitary journeys, exploring and learning about myself, opening myself to the beauty..
This totally transformed my life!
For me always ART, MUSIC & NATURE were the greatest teachers and healers..
Couple of days ago I had a dream, where I am in my home, here in Tucson, and I am working on the cast of the face made out of the plaster..and I am destroying it..I am getting a little upset at the moment..but then I look up, and I see that Diamanda Galas is playing in our place!! I had soo clear vision of her, standing in the middle of the building..and she starts to sing..I am so deeply moved by her voice..
this experience is still so clear and alive in my mind..
and I am reminding for myself that this is still one of my dreams from a long time, to experience her live..
It is very interesting to me that she came to me together with this imagery..of me working on plaster mask, and seeing how I am destroying it..
Many years ago I was very obsessed with her music, and her voice taught me a lot about the process of killing the ego.
She inspired me to create my own rituals, and with her music my first drawings in trance states were created.
She influenced my life so greatly, and assisted me in my healing process..thank's to her I died, and I was born again.
Her voice broke my ego on many little pieces. That's why I will always love her, and pay respect for her work.
I think that this vision coming to me means that again I am on a verge of a greater transformation..and having it so strong and clear, surely will help me to experience it deeper in reality when the time is right~~;)

I love this video..magnificent voice of Diamanda joined with imagery from movie Baraka..movie that is also so deeply meaningful to me..
I was watching it so many times when I lived in Poland...now I am visiting a lot of this places;)
To some of them I was guided, without my conscious knowing or previous planning
ahh..life is quite a magick!;))
So great to live in times when the age of Pisces passes by..PHEW!!
One of the first dreams from my childhood, that got stuck in my mind very strongly through all this years, it was a dream, where I am looking at the dark starry sky, and I see there a map..I am focusing closer, and I see the picture of Aquarius!
I could understand this vision only many years after..and I see now deeper that it is also like a soul map..that's why I am here at this time on Earth, and my life evolves arounds it..
It is time to reconnect deeper again and unite with the Great Mother, and to build the magnificent temples in her homage~~



Creating this piece was for me a great opportunity to do some more of healing work, embracing the beast within, the archetypes of the Dark Mother, and Dark Father, and the inner child..
I sacrifice my ego and my past into the sacred fire, and once again I die in surrender and trust, for my new self..
I am amazed how quickly this work impacts my reality!!=) This was in itself as a great initiation process!


spirit in bloom

..as I am releasing you, I unite with you deeper..
and my spirit is in bloom..and I raise my frequency with the purple light..


new work

These are my recent explorations with fine tip pen and pencil.. tapping to the source of energy, learning about the flow & exploring the unknown..



As I delve deeper into Her mysteries, once again I face the presence of Kali, the Dark Mother, and I am embracing her.
I dive into my darkness, beyond the veil, and I face all demons of my past, releasing them
I let go of my old patterns that doesn't serve me anymore, I let go of my fear, and the ego
I understand that strengthening of the will is crucial, especially at this time, so flow of the energy is focused
She comes through my art so naturally, beyond my conscious mind!
She brings for me once again the great reminder, that in order to create I have to destroy first
my heart wants to sing hymns in her homage, and my body opens up into the great source of energy
Now I understand deeper that I had to experience your lack, so I can later seek you, so I can find you!

It is very interesting to me that exactly today for the first time I am exploring compilation Kalpamantra "Ritus Terra Prolis", where I shared with my very old picture, where actually is also the vision of Kali!
It is very fine selection of dark ambient!! I am deeply impressed.
It is a free download compilation and you can find it HERE


Solar Culture videos

I am finally embracing slowly all the video material that I gathered over the time, with shows happening in our home.
We have here a lot of different worlds and styles..
I invite you to explore Solar Culture Gallery youtube channel.

Relaxed Machinery Interview

I am part of a creative community RELAXED MACHINERY, and very recently I gave there an INTERVIEW.
Check it out if you are interested;)!


Goddess returning

I haven't been writing here in a while, and my journey is unfolding in many interesting ways.
I was gifted with many very profound dream visions which constantly are flooding me with new inspiration.
In a lot of them I saw the magnificent sights in the sky..like the vision of the chariot with hundreds of horses seen in the night sky, lighted in many colors by the light of many lightnings..in another time I am walking very close to the ocean, and I see many whales jumping out and into the water..I look into the sky, and I see many rainbow bridges, and everything glowing in the red light of the sunset..or vision of an underground stream brought back to life on my eyes..
In my waking state I am working more regularly on creating the rainbow bridge by myself, meditating much more, and opening my chakras. I had a great deal of new learning about the nature of shapeshifting, also being inspired by my previous spontaneous connecting to some deities, and working with their energies, I sent my intent to the heavens that I am willing to learn much more in this direction. Universe responded very quickly and sent for me some wonderful material to learn from, also gave me a direct experience of deeper connection, communion and communication. I am very inspired to work again with Isis and Thoth, and now more consciously I am dedicating my life to the service of the Goddess. In recent time I had a wonderful experience with her revealing her divine presence. I can't even begin to describe everything in words, but for sure I will do my best to bring it all back through my arts, expressing my experiences and visions that I've experienced..
We are all so fortunate to live in this times of Her return..


Primordial Fire

One day I got this black foam, and I started to explore the unknown, my unconscious mind. Recently I approached this piece once again, and I learned a great deal of new things about myself! I explored deeper my inner landscape and I got to know better other parts of me that needed my loving attention and embracing. They are my inner guides assisting me on my path, bringing back forgotten knowledge, helping to awaken me more fully to my true potentials, and to reconnect with the source.
The original is possible for viewing through the next 2,5 month in L.A., in Temple of Visions, together with some other smaller drawings.


Ancient Civilizations / Alien Technologies

Together with my partner we are going in this month to L.A., to Temple of Visions, to contribute with our creations in this very interesting group show!=)

Gates of Atlantida by Vladimir Kozlov

Another great album with my artwork is finally out on Atmoworks! Vladimir is a very talented musician from Ukraine, bringing lots of fresh energy through his work, excellent for creative use! I totally loved exploring this material, and traveling with it deep down within, passing the inner gates, reaching the states that surely were very well known for the lost Atlantean culture.
It is a great mind-bending and mind-transporting tool for exploring the treasures long lost in the depths..


In Meditarivm - "The Great Limbo"

The new release of In Meditarivm "The Great Limbo" with my artwork is finally out!!!=)
I remember long time ago discovering music by Olegh Kolyada, and I loved so much this very dark and ritualistic atmosphere..
I was listening to it over and over again, especially to the track Ischarioth Cultus, experiencing it deeply on myself.
Now few years later I have a great pleasure and honor to contribute with my artwork in his new release, where this track is included as well;)!!

In Meditarivm is a Ukrainian apocalyptic ritual & dark ambient project organized in 2000 by Olegh Kolyada known by his projects First Human Ferro, Ostarbeiter, and Oda Relicta. The albums like “Les Fleurs du Mal” and “Uterus” outlined the old school approach of the project clearly influenced by highlights of Morthound, Ildfrost, ConSono, or Archon Satani. "The Great Limbo" is based on the re-engineered early works selectively crafted anew in summer 2009 at Olegh's Oda Relicta home studio. An elusory history of the project proceeds with a special Wrotycz Records release.


In light of wisdom

Yesterday I saved some abandoned books before going to a dumpster. When I looked deeper into them I realized that I found such a great treasures! There were bunch of very old books about native american culture, with the most beautiful pictures that I ever saw, and books about their ceremonies, about gathering the plants from the desert, enduring seeds & creating crafts.
Amongst them there was also one of the first books by Carlos Castaneda, teachings of Sri Ramakrishna, and two books by Swami Amar Jyoti. What a great gift from the Universe! It is pretty incredible that they stayed like invisible for others. I wonder who was their previous owner..
I got already very absorbed in reading "In light of wisdom" by Swami Amar Jyoti..english language the same like for me isn't his mother tongue, but he speaks so beautifully the truth from his heart in his short poems..

here is some of my favorite fragments that I read so far:

In one spark of fire
there is the whole fire
it can ignite
whole cities and nations
one spark!

That's how the Truth
of one Person
from age to age
can shake the whole earth.


Desire excites.
Excitement may
elevate us
will depress us
Inspiration elevates
and further.


This is witnessing:
stand apart
from your mind
in the space.
lift up your mind
with the leverage
of your will.


It's dangerous
to be something;
it's foolish
to be nothing;
it's wise
to be everything.


Stop thinking
and start seeing;
then you'll know It.

The time you are trying to explain It,
trying to
understand It,
is the very time
you are missing It.


Freedom is not
Freedom is not
Freedom is
where you feel joy.

Without learning anything
you know everything
and having everything
you are not bound by nothing;
this is the true nature
of a free soul.


Cold hearted people
cannot have knowledge
nor can wise people
stop the love
from their hearts.


Forgetting that Being
you are lost
into the process
of becoming.
You get tied up
with becoming
all the time
you want to be this,
you want to be that.

You don't want to end
the becoming
into Being
wherein lies the whole secret
of becoming.

Becoming is itself not an independent
it's a radiation of Being,
it's a projection of Consciousness,
that basic eternal Essence
which Thou art.



inner earth

I had a beautiful dream the other night! Though the true beauty of the visions that I saw it is really hard to translate into words!
I am in the desert and nature is so stunningly enchanted! I am in bliss looking on all the colorful flowers and other amazing plants. I am finding on the ground feathers, one by one, and I am collecting them in my hands. I am looking below the rock, and I am finding even more! Someone left there the whole stack of them, and they were like waiting for me. I am looking at all the feathers that I found. There is a lot of very colorful ones, but I'm also recognizing two that came from the bald eagle, and one from the hawk. Later I find myself climbing the rocks very high, so high that it is a little scary to go down, however I manage later to find my way. Yet before going down I look behind me, and I look very deeply into the earth, discovering such an amazing caves! I am again in ave and state of blisss..I am ascending through going within..



One of the things that Iguana teaches me it is patience. I was going to rush with finishing this piece for the new art show in our gallery, and to push myself really hard, but this time instead I am learning how to relax, and I let for her to unfold in the right time.
I take my time to observe deeper and deeper, and to finish it to the best of my abilities and beyond!;) These are really great studies for me, and I'm glad I returned also to this medium..it opens new great possibilities that I am definitely going to explore more!
This magnificent and very ancient creature speaks a lot to me through the silence=)..


The Caracal Medicine

Few days ago came to me this wild kitty! I had much fun coming back to charcoal and dry pastel! My little fingers seem to love this medium and working more through touch..
I only now realized that the carakal aka desert lynx it is the biggest wild cat living in Egypt! it is very interesting to me..I feel deeply connected with this land and its ancient culture..
Last night this awesome creature came to my dream! I was hanging out with her by a long time in nature, and I was doing a lot of photographing from many perspectives..and many close ups..
The light was exquisite and often in a wonderful ways reflecting in her eyes..she didn't minded my presence at all, and was really patient with posing! She came to teach me some new things..


Transforming Nature

I am walking through the canyon and I walk into very deep and dark places in my mind
my intention is to be open to the universal love and to unite with my divine self, the path leads through hell.
The voice in me is telling how still I am bad with many things, I am full of guilt, and I am dragging with me the heaviness of my past.
I start to feel so ungraceful and so disconnected with my true self, that I am not able to appreciate incredible beauty of nature surrounding me!
I am facing all my shadow, and I stop close to the stream with exquisite flow..
I see the vision of the giving hand of Mother Nature, and with my tears I release all my negativities, I let go of my past, and the need of being perfect.
Almost immediately I feel very purified and healed, and my heart chakra opens, I return to the present moment
I can see again all this incredible beauty in every little thing!
leaving magical stream I walk few steps forward, and I am finding two wings of the black eagle or vulture!
My heart fills with even more joy and deep gratitude for the Great Mother for this gift
I thank for the bird, and I tap into its spirit
I feel like I got new powers to fly!
and I fly through the rocks..and I travel through space..
my soul sings and dances in the sacredness of the Now, remembering again who I truly am..

btw: anybody knows who created this wonderful picture???


~Ad Astra~

~I am a child of the earth and the starry heaven, but my race is from heaven~

..Search the stars for what we are
And find we need not look so far
Inside of us, deep down inside
Are kept the secrets of all time..


avant-garde jazzy night

Tonight in our house we are hosting Chicago Underground Duo!


Twilight language

The spirit of iguana keeps transforming my life, I am creating her practicing patience and being more aware, opening myself into two-level consciousness. She teaches me deeper about dreaming, shapeshifting and space traveling. Once she came into my dream as well. I am finding somewhere this beautiful and big lizard, and I am bringing her back to home of my grandparents, where I was growing up as a child.. On beginning she lays down motionlessly on the floor, we are standing over her, and we are wondering what to do. Suddenly her body starts unfolding and she is coming to life! She looks like she wants to be my friend! Jumping on my knees she embraces me in a hug, and I feel very well how she is sending to me love frequencies! I feel at this moment very blissfully.I am offering for her some water and an oatmeal. She jumps into the air from excitement, and she drinks water very fast. She jumps back on my knees again and I am touching her cold and rough skin.It feels really weird. I am very excited to wait until the morning when the light is right, so I can photograph her better. But then suddenly cats are coming into the house, and they want to kill her! In my "waking state" I love cats, but at that moment I am joining with her powers and we are making a good job with fighting them back.
In another sequence of the dream I am observing human-like figures with alien-like heads! And the voice is telling me that extraterrestrials are coming to the Earth!;)
I am writing "waking state" because recently I realized for myself deeper how often I am still asleep. It is interesting to me that through learning deeper about dreams, and becoming more and more conscious in them, at the same time I am learning a great deal of how to be awake and aware in this so called waking state. The process of creating is a great practice in this direction..it is a good time to observe and witness when you are really there in the present moment, becoming one with picture and sound, or if you are processing at this time with your mind many other things, traveling into the past and into the future. Creating in the presence is truly miraculous, and the whole eternity opens before you..
I returned to meditation with Green Tara deity, and she is presenting me with similar lessons.
In last month I also came back again to writing my dream journal, reminding for myself about importance of this act. I have a recall almost every day.
I had one very interesting healing dream when I got sick..
I am in Hawaii and approaches me one native and very athletic woman, she encourages me to go with her to swim in the ocean. I see her jumping and diving under the surface, and by a while I am standing on the shore, and I look to the sky. The sky is very cloudy but suddenly it appears there a magnificent intensely glowing rainbow! I am watching it in state of bliss and in ave. Then spherical rainbow surrounds my whole body, and I dive as well into the healing waters...In the next day I could feel the difference, and my body started to regenerate..
In another very special dream I was experiencing on myself deeply my opening into the true creative potentials. I am creating in bliss and in the perfect flow, and I am observing with my mind's eye the great visions all the time transforming, flowing so effortlessly..


some of new work in progress..

I thought that for my better learning how to paint I should make some studies of the nature and its living forms.
Wondering what to choose, I came across of this amazing photograph of iguana, and recreating her in more realistic way seemed for me as such a huge challenge, that's why I knew that THIS IS IT!;)) I think that challenges are direction to go, as they accelerate so greatly our development, and are pushing us beyond our limits. Patterns and colors of this magnificent lizard also were tempting me..
So here it is the lizard unfolding, and coming to life.. she transforms for me into a great teacher, magician, living entity telling me stories..she is like a part of my shadow which I am embracing..
It is interesting to me that few months after starting this painting I encountered the iguana also live!

The other work it is also exploring and embracing of the unknown..