listening inward

I awakened today again
to seeing through my ancient eyes
the eye of Horus has been engraved very deeply in my soul
magickal sign
bringing me remembrance of who I really am

It is the time Now
like a plant
from the seed
to break through a hard shell of the earth
and to awaken fully into divine infinite potentials of creation

It is the time now
to tune again to the higher vibrations
frequency of love
sacred sound
to our divine guidance
that is ever present


Prajna Earth

I just watched very beautiful documentary movie - Prajna Earth..
I got some new insights and understanding about my experience, what happened to me after deeper connecting with Mother Nature, and when I came in contact with Nature Spirits..
and again returns to me the motive of ritual painting of the faces..next reminder from many in this week, about the need of return to doing it more often again;)!!
many years ago, what feels more like an eternity, they taught me about this and many other things..I reflect now on my old sessions that I used to do with the sound..
When I was a child, I was really into God. I was trying to find it in the temples of the religions of my family. But my family was divided, exactly by their different religions!..and they all wanted to take me on their side.."that is better, than the other one"..
Being baptized in an orthodox religion, I felt like a total freak, when I went to the school, and I moved to the place with a lot of catholic children. I wanted to be the same like them, I wanted to belong..
I went to the church in the age of 5 or 6, and I changed my religion through kneeling in front of a priest and reading a prayer from some piece of paper! In the age of 6 I was really experiencing the culmination of my fascination in religion.
I was using my lego blocks for building crosses, I was going to church more than once a week, planning to become a nun.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night, and I saw the vision on the ceiling over my bed, of the figures of Mary and Jesus looking at me! They were made of light.
But then I learned some history!! What catholic church did over the time for other religions..how everything became terribly distorted...even Jesus and Mary! After realizing this I went temporary to a real extremes in my rebellion;)..and I kept wondering..how it is possibly to study a history, and to go to the church at the same time..
When I connected deeper with Mother Nature I found God. Photography was a great tool. I was back then just barely beginning my healing process, and I experienced a great shift through going to the old forests..The Great Mother embraced me with her infinite love.. With time I was able to unite with her, she opened me to the vision, and the Nature Spirits were often gifting me with messages. Soon I wasn't afraid to go to the forests on my solitary journeys, exploring and learning about myself, opening myself to the beauty..
This totally transformed my life!
For me always ART, MUSIC & NATURE were the greatest teachers and healers..
Couple of days ago I had a dream, where I am in my home, here in Tucson, and I am working on the cast of the face made out of the plaster..and I am destroying it..I am getting a little upset at the moment..but then I look up, and I see that Diamanda Galas is playing in our place!! I had soo clear vision of her, standing in the middle of the building..and she starts to sing..I am so deeply moved by her voice..
this experience is still so clear and alive in my mind..
and I am reminding for myself that this is still one of my dreams from a long time, to experience her live..
It is very interesting to me that she came to me together with this imagery..of me working on plaster mask, and seeing how I am destroying it..
Many years ago I was very obsessed with her music, and her voice taught me a lot about the process of killing the ego.
She inspired me to create my own rituals, and with her music my first drawings in trance states were created.
She influenced my life so greatly, and assisted me in my healing process..thank's to her I died, and I was born again.
Her voice broke my ego on many little pieces. That's why I will always love her, and pay respect for her work.
I think that this vision coming to me means that again I am on a verge of a greater transformation..and having it so strong and clear, surely will help me to experience it deeper in reality when the time is right~~;)

I love this video..magnificent voice of Diamanda joined with imagery from movie Baraka..movie that is also so deeply meaningful to me..
I was watching it so many times when I lived in Poland...now I am visiting a lot of this places;)
To some of them I was guided, without my conscious knowing or previous planning
ahh..life is quite a magick!;))
So great to live in times when the age of Pisces passes by..PHEW!!
One of the first dreams from my childhood, that got stuck in my mind very strongly through all this years, it was a dream, where I am looking at the dark starry sky, and I see there a map..I am focusing closer, and I see the picture of Aquarius!
I could understand this vision only many years after..and I see now deeper that it is also like a soul map..that's why I am here at this time on Earth, and my life evolves arounds it..
It is time to reconnect deeper again and unite with the Great Mother, and to build the magnificent temples in her homage~~



Creating this piece was for me a great opportunity to do some more of healing work, embracing the beast within, the archetypes of the Dark Mother, and Dark Father, and the inner child..
I sacrifice my ego and my past into the sacred fire, and once again I die in surrender and trust, for my new self..
I am amazed how quickly this work impacts my reality!!=) This was in itself as a great initiation process!