25.9.10
16.9.10
KRI
I am asking myself how to transcend the grasping and wanting nature
how to open up to the experience of the fulness of my true being
to the infinite creative potentials that dwell within
so I can create in freedom for benefit of all beings.
The impulse of my intuition leads my hand to open one from many books
there are hidden my notes from long time before, where I read my answer:
"In order to be All, do not desire to be anything.
In order to know All, do not desire to know anything.
In order to find the joy of All, do not desire to enjoy anything.
To be, to know, to find joy -> sat, cit, ananda = being, consciousness, joy.
Set thy heart upon thy work, but never on its reward.
Work not for a reward, but never cease to do thy work.
Do thy work in the peace of Yoga and,
free from selfish desires,
be not moved in success or in failure.
In this wisdom a man goes beyond what is well done and what is not well done.
Go thou therefore to wisdom: Yoga is wisdom in work."
how to open up to the experience of the fulness of my true being
to the infinite creative potentials that dwell within
so I can create in freedom for benefit of all beings.
The impulse of my intuition leads my hand to open one from many books
there are hidden my notes from long time before, where I read my answer:
"In order to be All, do not desire to be anything.
In order to know All, do not desire to know anything.
In order to find the joy of All, do not desire to enjoy anything.
To be, to know, to find joy -> sat, cit, ananda = being, consciousness, joy.
Set thy heart upon thy work, but never on its reward.
Work not for a reward, but never cease to do thy work.
Do thy work in the peace of Yoga and,
free from selfish desires,
be not moved in success or in failure.
In this wisdom a man goes beyond what is well done and what is not well done.
Go thou therefore to wisdom: Yoga is wisdom in work."
30.8.10
28.8.10
Meow
I didn't expected before that a little kitten can be such a great teacher for me, and especially wild one! With time we realized deeper that she is probably feral. At the beginning we kept her in our bathroom, and before we did that we didn't realized that there is a hole in the wall that is unpatched. She made there her hiding secure base, where she was running away every time anyone gets there, or when I am bringing her some food. Every day I was spending there time meditating, hoping that I will be able to tune better into her spirit, and that through my own opening of my heart, she will stop fear me, and will come up close. I reached very deep meditative states while I was doing it, and I felt gratitude for this little creature for being my great meditation master, teaching me so much through the whole situation, and pushing beyond the boundaries. In one day we stared at each other by a very long time, I was sending her my love. I also started chanting for her and playing crystal bowl, she seemed to be very curious about these sounds, and she kept observing me.
But still she kept hissing at me every day I would come, she was like a little demon!
One day my partner wanted to clean around the hole, so she is not hiding behind the stuff on the way. She went deeper into the opening, and she climbed the wall inside up. She got stuck in between walls by over 24 hours and she kept crying! I spend a great deal of time sitting in the bathroom and playing crystal bowl, and crying too. The sound of the bowl stirred deeply old emotions within me, and I had some good time of releasing and healing the child within, that was scared before exactly like this kitten. I was trying to bring her back with the sound, so she can follow and find the way. My partner did cut two big holes in our bathroom on the other side, trying to save her. With no results. We went to sleep and at night she found her way back, through her own entryway. She was even more traumatized by this event, so we decided to not bother her too much in the following few days, and let her to recover.
My partner did build for her a big cage with the whole playground, to keep her temporary in my studio, until she gets used to people. After also very traumatic for her transfer into my space, she was slowly getting more relaxed again, but still hissing at people, playing very wildly when everyone is gone, and hiding in her new spot. In this days I came across material by Hemi-Sync, Communicating with Animals Meditation, and I was trying to connect to her. She didn't seem to be too much interested in contact with people, and she would prefer starve to death than to eat from my hand. Almost three weeks passed and we started to think that maybe she is already impossible to tame. In one day we were thinking that this isn't the best scenario for our building, as we have always many people around, and our older cat that is very territorial. We have here also very loud concerts, and car traffic on one side, and trains are passing very close on the other. I thought that maybe I should try to find for her a better home, and someone who is more experienced with feral kittens. I created post on craigslist, and I went back to creating to the same space where her cage is. She was looking at me, and I felt like I received a great gift from her, when she starts to play around, even if I am the same room..and in one moment she was reaching with her little paw in my direction. In this moment I got again committed to work with her and being more patient.
I did understand very well that in this whole situation there is a great opportunity to grow for me, and that everything is also very symbolic. From many years working on my healing I am all the time taming my own demons, I should be able to tame a little kitten! But then I received this message from an elder very loving lady, responding to my post..She have an experience with feral kittens, and she is training them.. She lives with her husband on 5 acres big ranch, together with 1 horse, 3 goats, some friendly dogs, and other rescued cats. She promised to give a good veterinary care. She will can live inside and hang out outside in nature.
After reading it I found myself crying again. I did know that she will have there a better life than here, in the middle of the city. My higher vision was different but I decided to let it go. This was a great learning experience in itself! I am very happy for this kitten that finally will have a good life, and I am in a deep gratitude for all that it taught me..
Our older cat is back to a good moods, and it gifts me with her love..
In the same moment I wrote this she walks into my studio, and is trying to communicate with me;)..I have a talking cat with a french accent!!
But still she kept hissing at me every day I would come, she was like a little demon!
One day my partner wanted to clean around the hole, so she is not hiding behind the stuff on the way. She went deeper into the opening, and she climbed the wall inside up. She got stuck in between walls by over 24 hours and she kept crying! I spend a great deal of time sitting in the bathroom and playing crystal bowl, and crying too. The sound of the bowl stirred deeply old emotions within me, and I had some good time of releasing and healing the child within, that was scared before exactly like this kitten. I was trying to bring her back with the sound, so she can follow and find the way. My partner did cut two big holes in our bathroom on the other side, trying to save her. With no results. We went to sleep and at night she found her way back, through her own entryway. She was even more traumatized by this event, so we decided to not bother her too much in the following few days, and let her to recover.
My partner did build for her a big cage with the whole playground, to keep her temporary in my studio, until she gets used to people. After also very traumatic for her transfer into my space, she was slowly getting more relaxed again, but still hissing at people, playing very wildly when everyone is gone, and hiding in her new spot. In this days I came across material by Hemi-Sync, Communicating with Animals Meditation, and I was trying to connect to her. She didn't seem to be too much interested in contact with people, and she would prefer starve to death than to eat from my hand. Almost three weeks passed and we started to think that maybe she is already impossible to tame. In one day we were thinking that this isn't the best scenario for our building, as we have always many people around, and our older cat that is very territorial. We have here also very loud concerts, and car traffic on one side, and trains are passing very close on the other. I thought that maybe I should try to find for her a better home, and someone who is more experienced with feral kittens. I created post on craigslist, and I went back to creating to the same space where her cage is. She was looking at me, and I felt like I received a great gift from her, when she starts to play around, even if I am the same room..and in one moment she was reaching with her little paw in my direction. In this moment I got again committed to work with her and being more patient.
I did understand very well that in this whole situation there is a great opportunity to grow for me, and that everything is also very symbolic. From many years working on my healing I am all the time taming my own demons, I should be able to tame a little kitten! But then I received this message from an elder very loving lady, responding to my post..She have an experience with feral kittens, and she is training them.. She lives with her husband on 5 acres big ranch, together with 1 horse, 3 goats, some friendly dogs, and other rescued cats. She promised to give a good veterinary care. She will can live inside and hang out outside in nature.
After reading it I found myself crying again. I did know that she will have there a better life than here, in the middle of the city. My higher vision was different but I decided to let it go. This was a great learning experience in itself! I am very happy for this kitten that finally will have a good life, and I am in a deep gratitude for all that it taught me..
Our older cat is back to a good moods, and it gifts me with her love..
In the same moment I wrote this she walks into my studio, and is trying to communicate with me;)..I have a talking cat with a french accent!!
22.7.10
path to freedom
I haven't been writing in a while..the journey is unfolding in interesting ways..
I was traveling a lot within my depths, and the spirit of the whale started visiting me more frequently...through my dreams, and guiding me during my meditations. In the same time I am working with my deeper relationship with water, and over my fears.
I am learning how to swim better, how to dive, how to catch a wave and have a ride.. The water it is the element that transforms me greatly now.. I think that I am quite brave when it comes to diving within, into the unknown of my subconscious, but in this reality I often find old wounds that caused me to create limiting beliefs..
As I dive deeper, the more it is revealed, and I try to figure out how to free my soul, how to heal more fully, so I can fly freely..fly freely whatever I am doing, being more present in the Now.. My past it is the heaviness on my back, and I still work how to release it..how to let it go..I know I already died for it, and I'm in another realms, but the fears are still there, and I'm facing them in my dreams
The quest isn't simple, and tasting my True Self I am like a hungry seeker, seeking every day, and learning, and expanding my awareness..
but then I know that I have to stop, and to forget, to let it go as well..and I'm going back to Nature, and I experience once again what it means Silence, and I'm back into the Heaven on Earth, and I'm full and complete in the stillness of the mind, when the waters are calm..
Soon I have to go back into the city's heart, as I am on the secret quest, a mission, that for sure only very little I understand with my conscious mind, but I sense it all quite deeply intuitively..
A lot of healing is done when in this recent weeks I am traveling between East and West Coast, facing different parts of myself.
I am overflowing with a lot of new inspirations, after returning to Metropolitan Art Musem in New York, and an Art Museum in San Diego, also visiting great botanical gardens.
I am channeling less or more consciously from many years, in many different ways, but in this weeks I came to deeper understanding about my boundaries, and I've got a lot of new insights in this direction.
My relationship with the Great Goddess deepens, I am devoting my life to Her, and my awareness grows in many fields.
I am guided to face again deeper the influences of the Pluto in the fourth house on my life, and with the most beautiful and angelic music I plant the seeds for the future.
Some days ago I had a dream that I am meeting this big wild cat..at first I feel fear, but then I face the beast, and I open my heart, reaching forward with my hand, so it can smell me. Few days after, we were rescuing the lost wild siamese very little kitten! It got lost or abandoned, and it is really a miracle that it survived in the middle of the city, and with this heat, in the middle of the summer! Our temple has a new guardian..but for now nobody can get close to it..we have to be patient..
Kitten is so deeply scared by people..It reminds me sort of about my old traumas, and I can feel that it will be my great new teacher=) Being during the last couple of days in Nature taught me a lot about encountering the beast. I've met with rattle snake on my path, and it rattled on me, and I looked into the eyes of the wild havalina! I was also blessed with the sights of big horn sheep that appeared three times..some of them had a really huge horns! When I was doing yoga and meditation, a lot of vultures were circling over me, and higher above them, there was a majestic huge hawk or an eagle! I cannot tell for sure what it was..but lying down on the earth I was tapping into its spirit, and it was very powerful and blissful experience.. and I was there, flying high;)..
I shared recently for the first time with recording of my creative session:
This is the way I create in trance states, when I channel divine energies..
My favorite way is to surrender to the sound..in this case it is music of Steve Hillage from album Rainbow Dome Musick..
I follow the sound and my intuition, learning all the time how to trust deeper, and how to flow freely..
Drawing in these states I am often forced to work very fast, tapping into higher frequencies and drawing from them power...making millions of very subtle, almost invisible touches..
It is not so much about doing..this is the dance and I work here with energies.
I am experiencing the sound, letting for it to flow through my body, becoming one with it..this is an excellent tool for traveling within..
I connect with my higher self and my guides, and they speak to me..
I connect with the invisible worlds, and every spirit that I meet has something to teach me, transmitting information, on the waves of sound..
This is the way I meditate.
This is the way I heal myself
..I seek the ways to know my full creative potentials!
I was traveling a lot within my depths, and the spirit of the whale started visiting me more frequently...through my dreams, and guiding me during my meditations. In the same time I am working with my deeper relationship with water, and over my fears.
I am learning how to swim better, how to dive, how to catch a wave and have a ride.. The water it is the element that transforms me greatly now.. I think that I am quite brave when it comes to diving within, into the unknown of my subconscious, but in this reality I often find old wounds that caused me to create limiting beliefs..
As I dive deeper, the more it is revealed, and I try to figure out how to free my soul, how to heal more fully, so I can fly freely..fly freely whatever I am doing, being more present in the Now.. My past it is the heaviness on my back, and I still work how to release it..how to let it go..I know I already died for it, and I'm in another realms, but the fears are still there, and I'm facing them in my dreams
The quest isn't simple, and tasting my True Self I am like a hungry seeker, seeking every day, and learning, and expanding my awareness..
but then I know that I have to stop, and to forget, to let it go as well..and I'm going back to Nature, and I experience once again what it means Silence, and I'm back into the Heaven on Earth, and I'm full and complete in the stillness of the mind, when the waters are calm..
Soon I have to go back into the city's heart, as I am on the secret quest, a mission, that for sure only very little I understand with my conscious mind, but I sense it all quite deeply intuitively..
A lot of healing is done when in this recent weeks I am traveling between East and West Coast, facing different parts of myself.
I am overflowing with a lot of new inspirations, after returning to Metropolitan Art Musem in New York, and an Art Museum in San Diego, also visiting great botanical gardens.
I am channeling less or more consciously from many years, in many different ways, but in this weeks I came to deeper understanding about my boundaries, and I've got a lot of new insights in this direction.
My relationship with the Great Goddess deepens, I am devoting my life to Her, and my awareness grows in many fields.
I am guided to face again deeper the influences of the Pluto in the fourth house on my life, and with the most beautiful and angelic music I plant the seeds for the future.
Some days ago I had a dream that I am meeting this big wild cat..at first I feel fear, but then I face the beast, and I open my heart, reaching forward with my hand, so it can smell me. Few days after, we were rescuing the lost wild siamese very little kitten! It got lost or abandoned, and it is really a miracle that it survived in the middle of the city, and with this heat, in the middle of the summer! Our temple has a new guardian..but for now nobody can get close to it..we have to be patient..
Kitten is so deeply scared by people..It reminds me sort of about my old traumas, and I can feel that it will be my great new teacher=) Being during the last couple of days in Nature taught me a lot about encountering the beast. I've met with rattle snake on my path, and it rattled on me, and I looked into the eyes of the wild havalina! I was also blessed with the sights of big horn sheep that appeared three times..some of them had a really huge horns! When I was doing yoga and meditation, a lot of vultures were circling over me, and higher above them, there was a majestic huge hawk or an eagle! I cannot tell for sure what it was..but lying down on the earth I was tapping into its spirit, and it was very powerful and blissful experience.. and I was there, flying high;)..
I shared recently for the first time with recording of my creative session:
This is the way I create in trance states, when I channel divine energies..
My favorite way is to surrender to the sound..in this case it is music of Steve Hillage from album Rainbow Dome Musick..
I follow the sound and my intuition, learning all the time how to trust deeper, and how to flow freely..
Drawing in these states I am often forced to work very fast, tapping into higher frequencies and drawing from them power...making millions of very subtle, almost invisible touches..
It is not so much about doing..this is the dance and I work here with energies.
I am experiencing the sound, letting for it to flow through my body, becoming one with it..this is an excellent tool for traveling within..
I connect with my higher self and my guides, and they speak to me..
I connect with the invisible worlds, and every spirit that I meet has something to teach me, transmitting information, on the waves of sound..
This is the way I meditate.
This is the way I heal myself
..I seek the ways to know my full creative potentials!
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