I haven't been able to write here in a while, and my intention is to come back to this practice..
I need to focus more of my attention on making my website a better working tool, so in better ways I can share with what I came here to offer..with my Being, the true expression of the light of my Spirit through my arts, my stories, journey guided by the sound, and the wisdom from the experience.. so hopefully you can drink an inspiration infinitely from this well.. and benefit from my ways to heal and transform.
We are all such a great storehouses of information..through sharing we can assist each other in our growth and development, in our very unique journeys, yet being united as One.
I have a very simple, and short, yet profound dream one night, where I am gifted with a blooming white flower from Mother Gaia!
The other day I traveled to the very dark realms, to bring back the light of my true voice, that was repressed over the ages through the catastrophic events, and other dramas. I realized more clearly how powerful force it is, and I saw my further path of working with this medicine. I could just surrender fully, and let the voices of the ancient ones to speak through me. Also in my dreams at that time there was surfacing something as I perceive as the old repressed memories. At first I was witnessing the splashes of a rainbow over the horizon..then through the sky there were moving very fast white-blueish lights, and I saw something like a very unusual storm raging, and the view clearing up into something like a massive globe approaching the Earth. After this I was sucked into the ocean, yet staying on the surface, I was riding the waves.
Very shortly afterwards I participated in a Medicine Song Ceremony being led by Phillip Cash Cash aka Piitamyanon MaqsMags ("Yellow Hawk"). He was born and raised on the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Indian Reservation in northeastern Oregon and is a Weyíiletpuu (Cayuse) and Nuumíipuu (Nez Perce) person. Phillip is a younger speaker of Nez Perce, a severely endangered language. Whenever I heard him speaking before, I had always shimmers traveling through my body, and this gathering impacted me to the core of my being. By a long time we were singing, drumming, rattling, waking up the Earth with the staff, and asking the Eagle Spirit about an assistance in our own healing, and healing of humanity, sending out our prayers..
I thought that I am already so spiritual, and very awake..a very well experienced cosmic traveler to the inner realms, yet the great healing, and radiance I was opened to in the next full moon day, made me realize how still very asleep I was!
I was following my intuition with all my actions.. and I see that coming across this footage with an opening to the inner Earth, and having chance to hear the sound from within, had also a great impact on me, and it expanded my awareness..
I did my private full moon ceremony, going within. My intention was to see the truth, and I had to break through so many layers of illusion! The crust was very thick, on the way to the core, and I had to pass through a serious testing. Work with my voice, the crystal bowls, and drum was of a great assistance with passing through all the layers, and darkness that I had to face at this given time. It came to me a deeper acknowledgment of all living beings, visible and invisible, and this awakened spontaneously even deeper feelings of compassion, a need of my honoring, and being more giving.
I could See my molecular structures rearranging, like I am transforming into a very new Being. Looking at anything, the highest vision was given to me, and I was in touch with my divine guidance. My art studio is underground, across the street from where there was before a very old cemetery, but with bodies moved to the other location. I could see so many spirits moving through my wall, and from the underground! However at this point, they were not scary for me at all, as I was centered in my heart space. Intuition guided me to find my place of power in this room, where there is an opening to the earth! A hidden portal got fully activated, and in a shaft of light I sat, meditating for a very long time..working with my breath, opening myself to the stream of information flowing through me, getting an access to an Earth's library. Ahh..how I love these states of all knowing=)!!
Soon I was truly blessed by a visit of the radiant Eagle Spirit, together with company of other winged ones!! I could feel strongly an assistance in my healing, and I felt like the light of my Spirit is back, and I am again fully empowered. I was so fully present, so awake, discovering myself like for the very first time. Looking on my life's journey I cried from happiness. The great Eagle Spirit truly received our prayers, bringing them even higher, and gave me an insight into the New Earth, what brought a lot of inner peace, and bliss into my heart. We are re-membering and dancing again as One, celebrating life! We have so much light to share! We are overflowing with this great abundance!
10.1.12
10.3.11
Dawn of the Unity Wave.
With desire to ride the Unity Wave, I asked my Higher Self and Divine Guidance as I was instructed..what my ego may do to serve the delivery of the divine plan? What shall I do to further the manifestation of unity consciousness and creating harmony?
I dived very deeply within, and I begun my meditation practice..I grounded myself deeply in the Earth with the roots of my being, reaching to the core, and sending the energy back through my body vehicle..
Soon I found myself in the dark cosmic ocean of the Mother..but I didn't feel centered, and I saw myself leaking energy to other people..I found it very tricky to open my heart completely to an Universal Love, and my inner vision was foggy..
After facing all my darkness that needed to be faced exactly at this time, my intuition has lead me into listening to an audio recording of the New Hermetics - Grounding and Centering. As soon as I oriented myself in space, getting myself in touch with elemental guardians, and opening into the flow of energy, so the cross is created through my body, everything begun to shift, and again I could be one with my Higher Self, in perfect Divine Guidance...reawakening into this deep knowing..
Even more of my darkness I had to face, and through my pure channels flew divine solutions..
My vision is very clear in the infinite Now! And all my questions were answered..
My latest dream visions and drawing that I am working on were of great assistance in leading me to this point of understanding..
I extend my deep gratitude for my Divine Guidance, for leading me from darkness to light, and for opening of my All Seeing Eye again!!!
I am realizing now deeper how still ungrounded I was before!
I hear now the Earth speaking to me way more clearly! Grounded and centered we are so much more free to Space Travel!
And we are able to see that we are not alone!~~;-)..
..with Infinite Love!
I dived very deeply within, and I begun my meditation practice..I grounded myself deeply in the Earth with the roots of my being, reaching to the core, and sending the energy back through my body vehicle..
Soon I found myself in the dark cosmic ocean of the Mother..but I didn't feel centered, and I saw myself leaking energy to other people..I found it very tricky to open my heart completely to an Universal Love, and my inner vision was foggy..
After facing all my darkness that needed to be faced exactly at this time, my intuition has lead me into listening to an audio recording of the New Hermetics - Grounding and Centering. As soon as I oriented myself in space, getting myself in touch with elemental guardians, and opening into the flow of energy, so the cross is created through my body, everything begun to shift, and again I could be one with my Higher Self, in perfect Divine Guidance...reawakening into this deep knowing..
Even more of my darkness I had to face, and through my pure channels flew divine solutions..
My vision is very clear in the infinite Now! And all my questions were answered..
My latest dream visions and drawing that I am working on were of great assistance in leading me to this point of understanding..
I extend my deep gratitude for my Divine Guidance, for leading me from darkness to light, and for opening of my All Seeing Eye again!!!
I am realizing now deeper how still ungrounded I was before!
I hear now the Earth speaking to me way more clearly! Grounded and centered we are so much more free to Space Travel!
And we are able to see that we are not alone!~~;-)..
..with Infinite Love!
28.8.10
Meow
I didn't expected before that a little kitten can be such a great teacher for me, and especially wild one! With time we realized deeper that she is probably feral. At the beginning we kept her in our bathroom, and before we did that we didn't realized that there is a hole in the wall that is unpatched. She made there her hiding secure base, where she was running away every time anyone gets there, or when I am bringing her some food. Every day I was spending there time meditating, hoping that I will be able to tune better into her spirit, and that through my own opening of my heart, she will stop fear me, and will come up close. I reached very deep meditative states while I was doing it, and I felt gratitude for this little creature for being my great meditation master, teaching me so much through the whole situation, and pushing beyond the boundaries. In one day we stared at each other by a very long time, I was sending her my love. I also started chanting for her and playing crystal bowl, she seemed to be very curious about these sounds, and she kept observing me.
But still she kept hissing at me every day I would come, she was like a little demon!
One day my partner wanted to clean around the hole, so she is not hiding behind the stuff on the way. She went deeper into the opening, and she climbed the wall inside up. She got stuck in between walls by over 24 hours and she kept crying! I spend a great deal of time sitting in the bathroom and playing crystal bowl, and crying too. The sound of the bowl stirred deeply old emotions within me, and I had some good time of releasing and healing the child within, that was scared before exactly like this kitten. I was trying to bring her back with the sound, so she can follow and find the way. My partner did cut two big holes in our bathroom on the other side, trying to save her. With no results. We went to sleep and at night she found her way back, through her own entryway. She was even more traumatized by this event, so we decided to not bother her too much in the following few days, and let her to recover.
My partner did build for her a big cage with the whole playground, to keep her temporary in my studio, until she gets used to people. After also very traumatic for her transfer into my space, she was slowly getting more relaxed again, but still hissing at people, playing very wildly when everyone is gone, and hiding in her new spot. In this days I came across material by Hemi-Sync, Communicating with Animals Meditation, and I was trying to connect to her. She didn't seem to be too much interested in contact with people, and she would prefer starve to death than to eat from my hand. Almost three weeks passed and we started to think that maybe she is already impossible to tame. In one day we were thinking that this isn't the best scenario for our building, as we have always many people around, and our older cat that is very territorial. We have here also very loud concerts, and car traffic on one side, and trains are passing very close on the other. I thought that maybe I should try to find for her a better home, and someone who is more experienced with feral kittens. I created post on craigslist, and I went back to creating to the same space where her cage is. She was looking at me, and I felt like I received a great gift from her, when she starts to play around, even if I am the same room..and in one moment she was reaching with her little paw in my direction. In this moment I got again committed to work with her and being more patient.
I did understand very well that in this whole situation there is a great opportunity to grow for me, and that everything is also very symbolic. From many years working on my healing I am all the time taming my own demons, I should be able to tame a little kitten! But then I received this message from an elder very loving lady, responding to my post..She have an experience with feral kittens, and she is training them.. She lives with her husband on 5 acres big ranch, together with 1 horse, 3 goats, some friendly dogs, and other rescued cats. She promised to give a good veterinary care. She will can live inside and hang out outside in nature.
After reading it I found myself crying again. I did know that she will have there a better life than here, in the middle of the city. My higher vision was different but I decided to let it go. This was a great learning experience in itself! I am very happy for this kitten that finally will have a good life, and I am in a deep gratitude for all that it taught me..
Our older cat is back to a good moods, and it gifts me with her love..
In the same moment I wrote this she walks into my studio, and is trying to communicate with me;)..I have a talking cat with a french accent!!
But still she kept hissing at me every day I would come, she was like a little demon!
One day my partner wanted to clean around the hole, so she is not hiding behind the stuff on the way. She went deeper into the opening, and she climbed the wall inside up. She got stuck in between walls by over 24 hours and she kept crying! I spend a great deal of time sitting in the bathroom and playing crystal bowl, and crying too. The sound of the bowl stirred deeply old emotions within me, and I had some good time of releasing and healing the child within, that was scared before exactly like this kitten. I was trying to bring her back with the sound, so she can follow and find the way. My partner did cut two big holes in our bathroom on the other side, trying to save her. With no results. We went to sleep and at night she found her way back, through her own entryway. She was even more traumatized by this event, so we decided to not bother her too much in the following few days, and let her to recover.
My partner did build for her a big cage with the whole playground, to keep her temporary in my studio, until she gets used to people. After also very traumatic for her transfer into my space, she was slowly getting more relaxed again, but still hissing at people, playing very wildly when everyone is gone, and hiding in her new spot. In this days I came across material by Hemi-Sync, Communicating with Animals Meditation, and I was trying to connect to her. She didn't seem to be too much interested in contact with people, and she would prefer starve to death than to eat from my hand. Almost three weeks passed and we started to think that maybe she is already impossible to tame. In one day we were thinking that this isn't the best scenario for our building, as we have always many people around, and our older cat that is very territorial. We have here also very loud concerts, and car traffic on one side, and trains are passing very close on the other. I thought that maybe I should try to find for her a better home, and someone who is more experienced with feral kittens. I created post on craigslist, and I went back to creating to the same space where her cage is. She was looking at me, and I felt like I received a great gift from her, when she starts to play around, even if I am the same room..and in one moment she was reaching with her little paw in my direction. In this moment I got again committed to work with her and being more patient.
I did understand very well that in this whole situation there is a great opportunity to grow for me, and that everything is also very symbolic. From many years working on my healing I am all the time taming my own demons, I should be able to tame a little kitten! But then I received this message from an elder very loving lady, responding to my post..She have an experience with feral kittens, and she is training them.. She lives with her husband on 5 acres big ranch, together with 1 horse, 3 goats, some friendly dogs, and other rescued cats. She promised to give a good veterinary care. She will can live inside and hang out outside in nature.
After reading it I found myself crying again. I did know that she will have there a better life than here, in the middle of the city. My higher vision was different but I decided to let it go. This was a great learning experience in itself! I am very happy for this kitten that finally will have a good life, and I am in a deep gratitude for all that it taught me..
Our older cat is back to a good moods, and it gifts me with her love..
In the same moment I wrote this she walks into my studio, and is trying to communicate with me;)..I have a talking cat with a french accent!!
22.7.10
path to freedom
I haven't been writing in a while..the journey is unfolding in interesting ways..
I was traveling a lot within my depths, and the spirit of the whale started visiting me more frequently...through my dreams, and guiding me during my meditations. In the same time I am working with my deeper relationship with water, and over my fears.
I am learning how to swim better, how to dive, how to catch a wave and have a ride.. The water it is the element that transforms me greatly now.. I think that I am quite brave when it comes to diving within, into the unknown of my subconscious, but in this reality I often find old wounds that caused me to create limiting beliefs..
As I dive deeper, the more it is revealed, and I try to figure out how to free my soul, how to heal more fully, so I can fly freely..fly freely whatever I am doing, being more present in the Now.. My past it is the heaviness on my back, and I still work how to release it..how to let it go..I know I already died for it, and I'm in another realms, but the fears are still there, and I'm facing them in my dreams
The quest isn't simple, and tasting my True Self I am like a hungry seeker, seeking every day, and learning, and expanding my awareness..
but then I know that I have to stop, and to forget, to let it go as well..and I'm going back to Nature, and I experience once again what it means Silence, and I'm back into the Heaven on Earth, and I'm full and complete in the stillness of the mind, when the waters are calm..
Soon I have to go back into the city's heart, as I am on the secret quest, a mission, that for sure only very little I understand with my conscious mind, but I sense it all quite deeply intuitively..
A lot of healing is done when in this recent weeks I am traveling between East and West Coast, facing different parts of myself.
I am overflowing with a lot of new inspirations, after returning to Metropolitan Art Musem in New York, and an Art Museum in San Diego, also visiting great botanical gardens.
I am channeling less or more consciously from many years, in many different ways, but in this weeks I came to deeper understanding about my boundaries, and I've got a lot of new insights in this direction.
My relationship with the Great Goddess deepens, I am devoting my life to Her, and my awareness grows in many fields.
I am guided to face again deeper the influences of the Pluto in the fourth house on my life, and with the most beautiful and angelic music I plant the seeds for the future.
Some days ago I had a dream that I am meeting this big wild cat..at first I feel fear, but then I face the beast, and I open my heart, reaching forward with my hand, so it can smell me. Few days after, we were rescuing the lost wild siamese very little kitten! It got lost or abandoned, and it is really a miracle that it survived in the middle of the city, and with this heat, in the middle of the summer! Our temple has a new guardian..but for now nobody can get close to it..we have to be patient..
Kitten is so deeply scared by people..It reminds me sort of about my old traumas, and I can feel that it will be my great new teacher=) Being during the last couple of days in Nature taught me a lot about encountering the beast. I've met with rattle snake on my path, and it rattled on me, and I looked into the eyes of the wild havalina! I was also blessed with the sights of big horn sheep that appeared three times..some of them had a really huge horns! When I was doing yoga and meditation, a lot of vultures were circling over me, and higher above them, there was a majestic huge hawk or an eagle! I cannot tell for sure what it was..but lying down on the earth I was tapping into its spirit, and it was very powerful and blissful experience.. and I was there, flying high;)..
I shared recently for the first time with recording of my creative session:
This is the way I create in trance states, when I channel divine energies..
My favorite way is to surrender to the sound..in this case it is music of Steve Hillage from album Rainbow Dome Musick..
I follow the sound and my intuition, learning all the time how to trust deeper, and how to flow freely..
Drawing in these states I am often forced to work very fast, tapping into higher frequencies and drawing from them power...making millions of very subtle, almost invisible touches..
It is not so much about doing..this is the dance and I work here with energies.
I am experiencing the sound, letting for it to flow through my body, becoming one with it..this is an excellent tool for traveling within..
I connect with my higher self and my guides, and they speak to me..
I connect with the invisible worlds, and every spirit that I meet has something to teach me, transmitting information, on the waves of sound..
This is the way I meditate.
This is the way I heal myself
..I seek the ways to know my full creative potentials!
I was traveling a lot within my depths, and the spirit of the whale started visiting me more frequently...through my dreams, and guiding me during my meditations. In the same time I am working with my deeper relationship with water, and over my fears.
I am learning how to swim better, how to dive, how to catch a wave and have a ride.. The water it is the element that transforms me greatly now.. I think that I am quite brave when it comes to diving within, into the unknown of my subconscious, but in this reality I often find old wounds that caused me to create limiting beliefs..
As I dive deeper, the more it is revealed, and I try to figure out how to free my soul, how to heal more fully, so I can fly freely..fly freely whatever I am doing, being more present in the Now.. My past it is the heaviness on my back, and I still work how to release it..how to let it go..I know I already died for it, and I'm in another realms, but the fears are still there, and I'm facing them in my dreams
The quest isn't simple, and tasting my True Self I am like a hungry seeker, seeking every day, and learning, and expanding my awareness..
but then I know that I have to stop, and to forget, to let it go as well..and I'm going back to Nature, and I experience once again what it means Silence, and I'm back into the Heaven on Earth, and I'm full and complete in the stillness of the mind, when the waters are calm..
Soon I have to go back into the city's heart, as I am on the secret quest, a mission, that for sure only very little I understand with my conscious mind, but I sense it all quite deeply intuitively..
A lot of healing is done when in this recent weeks I am traveling between East and West Coast, facing different parts of myself.
I am overflowing with a lot of new inspirations, after returning to Metropolitan Art Musem in New York, and an Art Museum in San Diego, also visiting great botanical gardens.
I am channeling less or more consciously from many years, in many different ways, but in this weeks I came to deeper understanding about my boundaries, and I've got a lot of new insights in this direction.
My relationship with the Great Goddess deepens, I am devoting my life to Her, and my awareness grows in many fields.
I am guided to face again deeper the influences of the Pluto in the fourth house on my life, and with the most beautiful and angelic music I plant the seeds for the future.
Some days ago I had a dream that I am meeting this big wild cat..at first I feel fear, but then I face the beast, and I open my heart, reaching forward with my hand, so it can smell me. Few days after, we were rescuing the lost wild siamese very little kitten! It got lost or abandoned, and it is really a miracle that it survived in the middle of the city, and with this heat, in the middle of the summer! Our temple has a new guardian..but for now nobody can get close to it..we have to be patient..
Kitten is so deeply scared by people..It reminds me sort of about my old traumas, and I can feel that it will be my great new teacher=) Being during the last couple of days in Nature taught me a lot about encountering the beast. I've met with rattle snake on my path, and it rattled on me, and I looked into the eyes of the wild havalina! I was also blessed with the sights of big horn sheep that appeared three times..some of them had a really huge horns! When I was doing yoga and meditation, a lot of vultures were circling over me, and higher above them, there was a majestic huge hawk or an eagle! I cannot tell for sure what it was..but lying down on the earth I was tapping into its spirit, and it was very powerful and blissful experience.. and I was there, flying high;)..
I shared recently for the first time with recording of my creative session:
This is the way I create in trance states, when I channel divine energies..
My favorite way is to surrender to the sound..in this case it is music of Steve Hillage from album Rainbow Dome Musick..
I follow the sound and my intuition, learning all the time how to trust deeper, and how to flow freely..
Drawing in these states I am often forced to work very fast, tapping into higher frequencies and drawing from them power...making millions of very subtle, almost invisible touches..
It is not so much about doing..this is the dance and I work here with energies.
I am experiencing the sound, letting for it to flow through my body, becoming one with it..this is an excellent tool for traveling within..
I connect with my higher self and my guides, and they speak to me..
I connect with the invisible worlds, and every spirit that I meet has something to teach me, transmitting information, on the waves of sound..
This is the way I meditate.
This is the way I heal myself
..I seek the ways to know my full creative potentials!
24.6.10
listening inward
I awakened today again
to seeing through my ancient eyes
the eye of Horus has been engraved very deeply in my soul
magickal sign
bringing me remembrance of who I really am
It is the time Now
like a plant
from the seed
to break through a hard shell of the earth
and to awaken fully into divine infinite potentials of creation
It is the time now
to tune again to the higher vibrations
frequency of love
sacred sound
to our divine guidance
that is ever present
to seeing through my ancient eyes
the eye of Horus has been engraved very deeply in my soul
magickal sign
bringing me remembrance of who I really am
It is the time Now
like a plant
from the seed
to break through a hard shell of the earth
and to awaken fully into divine infinite potentials of creation
It is the time now
to tune again to the higher vibrations
frequency of love
sacred sound
to our divine guidance
that is ever present
12.6.10
Prajna Earth
I just watched very beautiful documentary movie - Prajna Earth..
I got some new insights and understanding about my experience, what happened to me after deeper connecting with Mother Nature, and when I came in contact with Nature Spirits..
and again returns to me the motive of ritual painting of the faces..next reminder from many in this week, about the need of return to doing it more often again;)!!
many years ago, what feels more like an eternity, they taught me about this and many other things..I reflect now on my old sessions that I used to do with the sound..
When I was a child, I was really into God. I was trying to find it in the temples of the religions of my family. But my family was divided, exactly by their different religions!..and they all wanted to take me on their side.."that is better, than the other one"..
Being baptized in an orthodox religion, I felt like a total freak, when I went to the school, and I moved to the place with a lot of catholic children. I wanted to be the same like them, I wanted to belong..
I went to the church in the age of 5 or 6, and I changed my religion through kneeling in front of a priest and reading a prayer from some piece of paper! In the age of 6 I was really experiencing the culmination of my fascination in religion.
I was using my lego blocks for building crosses, I was going to church more than once a week, planning to become a nun.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night, and I saw the vision on the ceiling over my bed, of the figures of Mary and Jesus looking at me! They were made of light.
But then I learned some history!! What catholic church did over the time for other religions..how everything became terribly distorted...even Jesus and Mary! After realizing this I went temporary to a real extremes in my rebellion;)..and I kept wondering..how it is possibly to study a history, and to go to the church at the same time..
When I connected deeper with Mother Nature I found God. Photography was a great tool. I was back then just barely beginning my healing process, and I experienced a great shift through going to the old forests..The Great Mother embraced me with her infinite love.. With time I was able to unite with her, she opened me to the vision, and the Nature Spirits were often gifting me with messages. Soon I wasn't afraid to go to the forests on my solitary journeys, exploring and learning about myself, opening myself to the beauty..
This totally transformed my life!
For me always ART, MUSIC & NATURE were the greatest teachers and healers..
Couple of days ago I had a dream, where I am in my home, here in Tucson, and I am working on the cast of the face made out of the plaster..and I am destroying it..I am getting a little upset at the moment..but then I look up, and I see that Diamanda Galas is playing in our place!! I had soo clear vision of her, standing in the middle of the building..and she starts to sing..I am so deeply moved by her voice..
this experience is still so clear and alive in my mind..
and I am reminding for myself that this is still one of my dreams from a long time, to experience her live..
It is very interesting to me that she came to me together with this imagery..of me working on plaster mask, and seeing how I am destroying it..
Many years ago I was very obsessed with her music, and her voice taught me a lot about the process of killing the ego.
She inspired me to create my own rituals, and with her music my first drawings in trance states were created.
She influenced my life so greatly, and assisted me in my healing process..thank's to her I died, and I was born again.
Her voice broke my ego on many little pieces. That's why I will always love her, and pay respect for her work.
I think that this vision coming to me means that again I am on a verge of a greater transformation..and having it so strong and clear, surely will help me to experience it deeper in reality when the time is right~~;)
I love this video..magnificent voice of Diamanda joined with imagery from movie Baraka..movie that is also so deeply meaningful to me..
I was watching it so many times when I lived in Poland...now I am visiting a lot of this places;)
To some of them I was guided, without my conscious knowing or previous planning
ahh..life is quite a magick!;))
So great to live in times when the age of Pisces passes by..PHEW!!
One of the first dreams from my childhood, that got stuck in my mind very strongly through all this years, it was a dream, where I am looking at the dark starry sky, and I see there a map..I am focusing closer, and I see the picture of Aquarius!
I could understand this vision only many years after..and I see now deeper that it is also like a soul map..that's why I am here at this time on Earth, and my life evolves arounds it..
It is time to reconnect deeper again and unite with the Great Mother, and to build the magnificent temples in her homage~~
I got some new insights and understanding about my experience, what happened to me after deeper connecting with Mother Nature, and when I came in contact with Nature Spirits..
and again returns to me the motive of ritual painting of the faces..next reminder from many in this week, about the need of return to doing it more often again;)!!
many years ago, what feels more like an eternity, they taught me about this and many other things..I reflect now on my old sessions that I used to do with the sound..
When I was a child, I was really into God. I was trying to find it in the temples of the religions of my family. But my family was divided, exactly by their different religions!..and they all wanted to take me on their side.."that is better, than the other one"..
Being baptized in an orthodox religion, I felt like a total freak, when I went to the school, and I moved to the place with a lot of catholic children. I wanted to be the same like them, I wanted to belong..
I went to the church in the age of 5 or 6, and I changed my religion through kneeling in front of a priest and reading a prayer from some piece of paper! In the age of 6 I was really experiencing the culmination of my fascination in religion.
I was using my lego blocks for building crosses, I was going to church more than once a week, planning to become a nun.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night, and I saw the vision on the ceiling over my bed, of the figures of Mary and Jesus looking at me! They were made of light.
But then I learned some history!! What catholic church did over the time for other religions..how everything became terribly distorted...even Jesus and Mary! After realizing this I went temporary to a real extremes in my rebellion;)..and I kept wondering..how it is possibly to study a history, and to go to the church at the same time..
When I connected deeper with Mother Nature I found God. Photography was a great tool. I was back then just barely beginning my healing process, and I experienced a great shift through going to the old forests..The Great Mother embraced me with her infinite love.. With time I was able to unite with her, she opened me to the vision, and the Nature Spirits were often gifting me with messages. Soon I wasn't afraid to go to the forests on my solitary journeys, exploring and learning about myself, opening myself to the beauty..
This totally transformed my life!
For me always ART, MUSIC & NATURE were the greatest teachers and healers..
Couple of days ago I had a dream, where I am in my home, here in Tucson, and I am working on the cast of the face made out of the plaster..and I am destroying it..I am getting a little upset at the moment..but then I look up, and I see that Diamanda Galas is playing in our place!! I had soo clear vision of her, standing in the middle of the building..and she starts to sing..I am so deeply moved by her voice..
this experience is still so clear and alive in my mind..
and I am reminding for myself that this is still one of my dreams from a long time, to experience her live..
It is very interesting to me that she came to me together with this imagery..of me working on plaster mask, and seeing how I am destroying it..
Many years ago I was very obsessed with her music, and her voice taught me a lot about the process of killing the ego.
She inspired me to create my own rituals, and with her music my first drawings in trance states were created.
She influenced my life so greatly, and assisted me in my healing process..thank's to her I died, and I was born again.
Her voice broke my ego on many little pieces. That's why I will always love her, and pay respect for her work.
I think that this vision coming to me means that again I am on a verge of a greater transformation..and having it so strong and clear, surely will help me to experience it deeper in reality when the time is right~~;)
I love this video..magnificent voice of Diamanda joined with imagery from movie Baraka..movie that is also so deeply meaningful to me..
I was watching it so many times when I lived in Poland...now I am visiting a lot of this places;)
To some of them I was guided, without my conscious knowing or previous planning
ahh..life is quite a magick!;))
So great to live in times when the age of Pisces passes by..PHEW!!
One of the first dreams from my childhood, that got stuck in my mind very strongly through all this years, it was a dream, where I am looking at the dark starry sky, and I see there a map..I am focusing closer, and I see the picture of Aquarius!
I could understand this vision only many years after..and I see now deeper that it is also like a soul map..that's why I am here at this time on Earth, and my life evolves arounds it..
It is time to reconnect deeper again and unite with the Great Mother, and to build the magnificent temples in her homage~~
3.5.10
Goddess returning
I haven't been writing here in a while, and my journey is unfolding in many interesting ways.
I was gifted with many very profound dream visions which constantly are flooding me with new inspiration.
In a lot of them I saw the magnificent sights in the sky..like the vision of the chariot with hundreds of horses seen in the night sky, lighted in many colors by the light of many lightnings..in another time I am walking very close to the ocean, and I see many whales jumping out and into the water..I look into the sky, and I see many rainbow bridges, and everything glowing in the red light of the sunset..or vision of an underground stream brought back to life on my eyes..
In my waking state I am working more regularly on creating the rainbow bridge by myself, meditating much more, and opening my chakras. I had a great deal of new learning about the nature of shapeshifting, also being inspired by my previous spontaneous connecting to some deities, and working with their energies, I sent my intent to the heavens that I am willing to learn much more in this direction. Universe responded very quickly and sent for me some wonderful material to learn from, also gave me a direct experience of deeper connection, communion and communication. I am very inspired to work again with Isis and Thoth, and now more consciously I am dedicating my life to the service of the Goddess. In recent time I had a wonderful experience with her revealing her divine presence. I can't even begin to describe everything in words, but for sure I will do my best to bring it all back through my arts, expressing my experiences and visions that I've experienced..
We are all so fortunate to live in this times of Her return..
I was gifted with many very profound dream visions which constantly are flooding me with new inspiration.
In a lot of them I saw the magnificent sights in the sky..like the vision of the chariot with hundreds of horses seen in the night sky, lighted in many colors by the light of many lightnings..in another time I am walking very close to the ocean, and I see many whales jumping out and into the water..I look into the sky, and I see many rainbow bridges, and everything glowing in the red light of the sunset..or vision of an underground stream brought back to life on my eyes..
In my waking state I am working more regularly on creating the rainbow bridge by myself, meditating much more, and opening my chakras. I had a great deal of new learning about the nature of shapeshifting, also being inspired by my previous spontaneous connecting to some deities, and working with their energies, I sent my intent to the heavens that I am willing to learn much more in this direction. Universe responded very quickly and sent for me some wonderful material to learn from, also gave me a direct experience of deeper connection, communion and communication. I am very inspired to work again with Isis and Thoth, and now more consciously I am dedicating my life to the service of the Goddess. In recent time I had a wonderful experience with her revealing her divine presence. I can't even begin to describe everything in words, but for sure I will do my best to bring it all back through my arts, expressing my experiences and visions that I've experienced..
We are all so fortunate to live in this times of Her return..
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